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On keeping friendships alive

My Dad was a professional sailor known to all simply as "Capt. Joe." He had seen much action in both World Wars and held friendhip in high esteem. As a teenager, I was late for everything. Finally exasperated with me, Capt. Joe took me aside and said:

"Son, your word is your bond and your bond is what makes and holds friendships together. Punctuality is your word; a promise given. I knew a poor soul who once lost 18 friends in five minutes because he was late. He was a Naval Gunnery Officer who opened fire too late and killed 10 Royal Marines and wounded eight others. He himself never recovered. See you at six tonight for dinner."

He turned and was gone, leaving me stunned and very thoughtful. That night I was seated at the dinner table promptly at six p.m. and have never missed a deadline or been late for an appointment in the 50 years since.

The Hero Son,

We recognize heroes as those who persevere in the face of incredible adversity. The hero calls upon great inner strength and character when seemingly insurmountable odds are stacked against him, odds that would prompt others to give in and simply accept fate. The hero thinks nothing of personal recognition or gain for his actions. We heap platitudes on our heroes and adore them with great accolades. We often lavish them with awards and remember them through ceremony.

My son, you will never receive any recognition or award for the battles you fight, but you are a hero nonetheless. You wake each day to face incredible adversity, yet you continue to summon some power I can't imagine just to survive in a cold world that to you seems frightening and confusing. You are alone with your fears and anxieties, even when surrounded by people. You have no way to communicate and no one who can answer your questions.

If I could, I would remove your pain and help you enjoy life as other boys do. I would watch you grow and develop into a fine man and take your place in the world. As your father it brings me to tears to realize that we will likely never engage in normal conversation and never do even the simple things that I always dreamed we would do before you were born.

My son, you don't deserve any of this as none of it comes as a result of your doing. You see, you were born with severe Autism. But take solace, as I do, in knowing that through God's limitless grace when we get to Heaven we will finally speak and have eternity to enjoy each other's company. Dad